


Mantra

by ShyAudacity



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Crying, Episode: s05e04 Condition Terminal, Hospitals, Hurt Lydia, Hurt Stiles, Hurt/Comfort, Panic Attacks, Protective Scott, Protective Sheriff Stilinski, Survivor Guilt, it's up to you, kind of, oh yeah and Cuddling, sciles can be romantic or platonic, scott takes care of stiles, this takes place in the middle of that episode
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-17
Updated: 2016-01-17
Packaged: 2018-05-14 14:41:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,186
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5748298
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShyAudacity/pseuds/ShyAudacity
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Are you okay?” He questions carefully. </p>
<p>Stiles bites his lip, and swallows back the lump in his throat. He exhales a shaky breath as the tears start to fall. Finally, he turns around to face Scott, his face wet. Scott gives him a sad smile, both of them sit upright, then continues.</p>
<p>“We don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.” Scott tells him. “But, as your best friend, it is my job to tell you that none of this is your fault. There was nothing that either of us could do, okay? You have to know that.”     </p>
<p>OR</p>
<p>Stiles isn't coping well with what happened to Lydia, Scott does something about it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mantra

**Author's Note:**

> Please check notes at the bottom for information about prompts. THANKS!

_Stiles?_

_How is she?_

_Could have been worse._

Could have been worse. Those words kept repeating themselves over and over in Stiles’ head. Lydia’s injuries could have been even worse, more deadly, much more fatal. Pacing in the hospital hallway isn’t doing him any favors either. He would have driven home but his hands were shaking too much to even pull his keys out, and he wanted to wait until Lydia was out of surgery, just to make sure that she would be alright for now.

So Stiles keeps walking up and down this hallway, trying to remind himself to breathe properly and tell himself that everything is going to be just fine. So far, that plan is not going over very well.   

_Lydia. Could have been worse. Worse. Dying. Dead_.

His breath stutters slightly at that thought, one after another the words and thoughts and bad memories won’t stop coming. Like a never ending mantra of all the things he’s didn’t do or should have done.

_Could have been worse. Dad. Got shot. Got hurt. Could have died. Dead. Dying. Mom. Couldn’t save her. Too sick. Hospital. Dying. Dead. Gone._

Stiles presses a firm hand to the center of his chest in attempt to gain some control over himself. His still trembling hands does little to prevent any casualties.

_I’m having a panic attack._ He thinks to himself.

_Gone. Derek. Skipped town. Couldn’t stop him. Almost died. Died. Dead. Mom. Almost Lydia. Could have stopped it. Couldn’t save her._

His breathing has become labored and his limbs are growing heavy with anxiety. Feels sick to his stomach. Stiles looks out the window, everything is dark outside, the sun having set long ago.

_Dark. Evil. Nogitsune. My fault. Hurt people. Killed people. Couldn’t save them. I did this. My fault. Aiden. My fault. Allison. My fault._

The toe of Stiles’ shoe catches on the linoleum floor and he falls into the hallway wall, sliding down as his legs now refuse to work.

_Can’t do this. Can’t save them. Can’t save anyone. My fault. Scott got bit by a werewolf. My fault. Allison died. My fault. Everyone is hurting because of me. All my fault._

The thoughts are roaring and loud inside of his head. Stiles closes his eyes, covers his hands with his ears and tries to block out all the other sounds. It does next to nothing, he can still hear everything that’s going on around him in the hospital. Somewhere nearby a woman is crying, which means she either gave birth, or her child has just died. Around the corner a doctor is yelling for somebody to get them a crash cart for their patient.    

_Can’t save them. Can’t save anyone. It’s my fault. Can’t. Can’t. Can’t._

Stiles’ sense started to fade away from him, as if he was falling asleep. First, the sounds of the crying woman began to lessen, then the doctor’s yelling had ceased, and the shaking of his hands becomes less noticeable. His breathing gets easier somehow and before he realizes what’s happening, Stiles has completely blacked out.  

*

He feels like he’s in a trance, everything is confusing and foggy. Stiles is still in the hospital, but in a different wing entirely. He walks around trying to find someone who could help him. Every inch of the hospital appears to be vacant.  

_“Hello? Is anybody here?”_ He calls, no response. _“Lydia? Scott, are you here?”_  

He recognizes the area, and soon finds himself outside of his mother’s old hospital room. He pushes the door open, and sees his mother there, sitting up in bed. She looks over at Stiles at the sound of the door opening.

_“Mom?”_

“ _Wake up Stiles,”_ She tells him. _“You need to wake up now Stiles.”_

*

With a small gasp, he comes to in the hospital hallway. Stiles finds himself now lying on the floor, his back pressed against the wall. A gentle hand is placed between his head and the floor, while another is resting over his heart. He starts to panic for a moment before he hears a familiar voice speaking to him.

“Dad?”

His frantic eyes search for a moment until they land on his father and Melissa, both of them kneeling over him, looking down at him with worried eyes.

“Hey kiddo, I’m right here.”

Stiles closes his heavy eyes for a moment, lets out a shaky sigh and leans into his father’s touch. The Sheriff’s hands moved from his chest to push back his hair.

“You coming back to us?” he asks.

Stiles nods slowly. “Where’s Scott?

“He’s at home,” Melissa says. “You want me to call him?”

He nods again, then manages to push himself into a sitting position. The Sheriff pulls him up by the arms until he’s standing on wobbly legs. Stiles rests his head on his shoulder for a minute, breathing deeply, before looking up at his dad.

“C’mon, let’s get you home.” He says, leading him out of the hospital. Stiles is asleep in the backseat before they even leave the parking lot.

*

When Stiles wakes a little while later, he’s met with his bedroom wall. That makes him wonder how his father managed to get him up the stairs without waking him. He can feel a strong arm around him, and a warmth against his back.   

“Scott?” he asks in a raspy voice.

The arm around him tightens. “Hey, hey it’s me.”

_Scott. Best friend. Brother. Got hurt. Stabbed him. Could have died. My fault. Can’t save him._

Stiles can hear the worry in his voice. So he finds Scott’s hand, pieces their fingers together and holds it firmly against his chest. He doesn’t turn around when Scott starts speaking to him.

“Mom called. Lydia got out of surgery a few minutes ago, everything went great. She’s gonna be just fine, Stiles.”

_Lydia. Just Fine. Fine. Almost wasn’t. Couldn’t save her. My fault._

“Are you okay?” He questions carefully.

Stiles bites his lip, and swallows back the lump in his throat. He exhales a shaky breath as the tears start to fall. Finally, he turns around to face Scott, his face wet. Scott gives him a sad smile, both of them sit upright, then continues.

“We don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.” Scott tells him. “But, as your best friend, it is my job to tell you that none of this is your fault. There was nothing that either of us could do, okay? You have to know that.”     

As much as he tries, Stiles can’t hold back the cry that comes out of his mouth. Before he can even attempt to stop it, he’s full on sobbing in front of his best friend. Scott just pulls him forward until Stiles is practically in his lap. Stiles curls himself against Scott’s body, burying his face into his collar bone and shakes from all the crying.

“It’s okay.” Scott says in his ear. “We’re okay… everybody is going to be just fine. We’re all fine, Stiles.”

_Scott. Lydia. Derek. Melissa. Dad. Fine. They’re all fine._

_I’m going to be just fine._

**Author's Note:**

> ALRIGHT, so here's the deal. I'm not writing as much as I would like to, and i'd like to change that. SO, here's my idea. Leave a topic (car accident, marriage, sickness etc) and a few characters or ship(s) in the comments and I will try my damn hardest to write a story about that prompt. If there's something specific you want me to write about or include in the story, just let me know. NOTE: I don't write porn or Mpreg... Never have never will. 
> 
> If you like this story, please do let me know! HAVE A GREAT DAY! : )


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